Forget going to the cinema.

Just watch a DVD. Trust me, I’ve scored tonnes with DVD dates…

In fact, just the other day….

The movie was Darjeeling Limited and the girl was hot. Especially her legs. She had the hottest pair of legs that went all the way up to the celling. I imagined I was a Fireman…

It was a Thursday night and she had gone swimming earlier. I know this because I found her wet bikini in the toilet. It was still dripping but I took a whiff anyway. Sweet chlorine!

“How often do you swim?” What I meant to ask was: “Ever had sex by the pool?”

The movie ended… Nothing had happened yet. It’s time to up the ante.

“So do you believe in happy endings?” I asked.

“Yeah, sometimes..” she answered.

“Do you want a happy ending tonight?”

She said nothing, then cracked a smile and said, “Too soon, kiddo!”

It’s okay. There’s always something called a sequel.

NOTE: This post is extremely edited.

I’ve always thought of this as a waste of time and a self-indulgence tool for the secretly unhappy.

Guess I have to eat my words now, huh?

I’m NOT a techno-phobe nor am I a recluse. I just thought that it would all go away. “It” being technology.

Fine. Let me explain further…

When I was growing up, I was one of the first kids in school to have an internet connection. This was way back before Pentium was a household name and PCs still used floppy disks.

What went wrong was this: the Internet SUCKED back then. Killing any interest I had in technology. It took forever for a browser back then to display the homepage of your favourite band. We (other middle-class kids and me) usually couldn’t download songs or videos in full and even if we could they sucked in quality.

Don’t even get me started about (early 90s) porn on the net. There were scarcely any videos so we had to settle for pictures. For the first few minutes you’ll be watching the strand of stray hair on her head get longer. Ohhh….. there’s some eyes…. c’mon, show me some eyes, baby!

By the time the picture completes loading, you’re so sick of her face and the rest of her body that you’ll find yourself staring at her newly revealed sandals. Ohhh….. c’mon sandals and red-toe-painted-nails….

Sometimes the pictures were so low-res, that they’d look like an Andy Warhol piece. Inspiring your creativity instead of giving you a hard-on.

So, the limitations of that time just degraded the whole experience for me. I did used the internet. For the email and MiRC only. And I did other things in my free time. Like playing in a band and watching rented videotapes (which were a better source for porn back then).

Of course it got better as we all know. Now, you can even travel to an oppressive 3rd world country and still stay wired on your mobile phone.

But I guess although I kept up minimally with the latest trends and specs, eg. ICQ, MSN Messenger, MP3, Napster, P2P downloading, Bit-torrent, Gmail, DVD Burners, Friendster, Facebook and now, blogs; I never really took interest. Technology isn’t a big thing to me. To a certain point, I think I even detest these proclaimed innovations because it generally decreases our humanity. Like I said, I thought it would all go away.

During an era when every kid on my street had a “Dookie” cassette, a reporter asked Green Day’s lead singer, Billie Joe Armstrong, if he had email. He reply was:: “Email? What the fuck is Email? Who the fuck has Email?…” or something like that…

I guess I’ve just explained my lack of interest in all things tech but not really the reason why I decided to start blogging…

That’ll be in the next post. (Cliche ending… don’t ya just love them blogs…)